


The One With Questionable Behavior

by jadehqknb



Series: Magic and Mayhem [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Elf Hinata, Fluff, Getting Together, Improper use of potions, M/M, Magical Mayhem, Witch Kuroo, archer matsukawa, attempt at comedy, featuring warriors sawamura and bokuto, hint of future KuroDai, hint of future MatsuSuga, mage Oikawa, mystical hijinx, praise (cute not kink), self indulgent side pairings, side pairings galore, witch sugawara, wolf hybrid kyoutani
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24165007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadehqknb/pseuds/jadehqknb
Summary: A mage, archer, elf and wolf-hybrid walk into a cafe owned by two bored witches, one of whom decides it’s a great idea to test a truth serum. You know, just in case an attempted elf-nabbing is in progress.At least the night won’t be boring anymore.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kyoutani Kentarou
Series: Magic and Mayhem [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746508
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34
Collections: Hinata Rare Pair Week 2020





	The One With Questionable Behavior

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts: **Coffee Shop AU / Praise**
> 
> Author's Note: Admittedly, Hinata/Kyoutani are rather brief here, but I had so much fun writing this AU that I have plans to continue it where they will feature more heavily in their own spotlight.

“Suga-chan, I’m bored,” Kuroo whines, flicking the feather of his quill pen. 

“I bet I’m more bored than you,” Suga retorts, wiping down an already clean counter. 

“Why is it so slow today?” Kuroo flicks the feather again, nearly upending the pen and well. At least it would have given Suga something to clean, but the silver-haired (and tongued) witch is not to be trifled with, and cleaning up squid ink is _not_ easy. Kuroo moves on to check inventory—a task necessary to engage in multiple times throughout the day, thanks to a few spirits who like to move things around when they're as bored as the cafe owners—and finds a vial he either overlooked or wasn’t there before. 

“Hey Suga-chan, check this out,” he says, holding out the small glass container. 

Suga sets aside his rag, narrowing his eyes to stare at the label. They light up when he sees what it is and he claps his hands in delight. “A truth serum!”

“Yeah, but what’s it doing _here_? We don’t sell potions,” Kuroo says, turning it in his fingers. He squawks when Suga snatches it from his grasp. “Hey, give that back! It probably belongs to someone.”

“No one’s reported anything missing.”

“They might not realize it’s gone.”

“Come on, Kuroo! Let’s have some fun! We were both just saying how bored we are.”

Kuroo bites his bottom lip. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

“Well… we could test it out! I don’t think I’ve seen one in action.”

Kuroo snorts. “You, Sugawara Koushi, want to expose yourself like that? I don’t believe it. And there’s no way you’re getting me to take it.” 

“Not on us, dummy!”

Kuroo’s eyes go wide. “Oh no, you’re not suggesting…”

Suga nods, his eyes holding a mischievousness more attune to an imp than a witch. “Why don't we find out what Daichi _really_ thinks of you?” He tilts the bottle back and forth between his fingers teasingly. 

Kuroo scowls but it looks more like a pout, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t need a potion to know that.”

“Oh really? You can read his mind?”

“No, but my ears aren’t broken and if you’ve noticed, he’s not my biggest fan, Suga.”

Suga waves away his protests. “That’s just his way of flirting. You’re too sensitive _and_ defensive which is why you spend more time thinking of ways to goad and provoke him so you can ‘win’ than pay attention to all the signs.”

Kuroo opens his mouth to protest again when the bell over the door dings announcing a customer.

Suga drops his hand into his pocket, turning to greet the newcomers but before he can get a word out an angry growl cuts the silence. 

“Can’t get you _anything_ right?” 

Suga and Kuroo frown as a motley crew enters their cafe. Usually welcoming of travelers, there’s something about this group that sets them on edge. 

The little orange-haired elf who’d received the snarled complaint doesn’t back down, puffing up his chest and pointing at the wolf hybrid. “It’s not my fault _you_ don’t follow directions!” 

“Now, now, let’s not fight,” a smooth voice interjects.

Suga’s eyes dart to the speaker, narrowing when he takes him in. The hybrid is uncouth and the elf looks like a handful but this man… he strikes him as the most dangerous of them all. 

Behind the trio stands a dark and brooding archer, yawning as he looks about the cafe at nothing in particular... until his gaze lands on Suga and stays there. His expression doesn’t change, eyes remaining half-closed almost as if he were near to sleeping where he stands. But the look is no less piercing and Suga feels a shiver race down his spine. 

“Can we help you?” Kuroo asks, snapping Suga out of his stare, though he does catch a slight smirk dance across the archer’s lips before his eyes drift away again. 

“Good evening,” the dangerous man—a mage now that Suga really looks close—replies. “Do you serve dinner or just treats?”

The way he says ‘just treats’ gets under Suga’s skin. “Oh, I can assure you, we serve more than our fair share of _just_ _desserts_.” The mage meets his eyes, gaze sharp and penetrating. Suga ignores the hint of fear at the look. 

“Was the tavern not to your liking?” Kuroo asks. His voice is pleasant but Suga doesn’t miss the tension of his shoulders. He’s on edge as well. 

The mage smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Let’s just say… it wasn’t up to standards.” He claps his hand, a bright cheery smile spreading over his face but neither witch is fooled by his display of sudden friendliness. “Now, about some food…”

“We have some stew and bread today,” Kuroo offers. 

“That will do fine,” the mage says, ignoring the growl of the hybrid about ‘needing a fresh cut of meat’. 

“Great, well then, feel free to sit wherever you like,” Suga says, giving a superficial smile of his own. 

“Thank you!” the elf says cheerily. It’s jarring to see such a bright, genuine light among a group of shadowy secret keepers. 

As they make their way to a table furthest away from the counter, Suga whispers to Kuroo, “I don’t like the look of those guys. Three of them, at least, are up to no good. Do you think,” he drops his voice even lower, “do you think they’ve kidnapped that cute little elf?” 

Kuroo tosses a quick glance in the direction of their customers. He shakes his head. “He doesn’t look like he’s under duress.” 

“He could have been told to fake it,” Suga retorts. He palms the vial in his pocket. 

“Suga, no,” Kuroo says, not missing the motion. 

“What? It’s the perfect way to test it _and_ see what they’re up to.” 

“And if it’s nothing? Then we’re potentially embarrassing our customers. Everyone has secrets you know.” 

“What if it _is_ something? What if we’re witnessing a kidnapping and find later that cute little guy was sold or tortured or killed and we did nothing to stop it?”

“Dramatic much? Besides, if you’re that concerned, call the warriors.” 

Suga rolls his eyes. “This is not the time to continue your cockfight with Daichi.”

Kuroo’s face flushes bright red. “What… that’s not…”

Suga snorts. “Calm down, you prude. I meant of the fowl variety. Although the other would cut to the chase much quicker.”

“I swear I’m going to strangle you.” 

Before Kuroo can stop him, Suga dumps the vial contents into the pot of stew and stirs it up. “What the hell are you doing?” Kuroo hisses, grabbing his wrist. 

Suga’s bright eyes look into his. “We’ll just throw the rest away. Cut the bread, they’re going to get suspicious.” 

Kuroo grumbles but does as told, pushing too hard on the loaf and lumping it terribly in his agitation at his coven mate. He butters the slices and pours drinks. By the time he’s done, Suga has the stew ladled out and on a tray which he carries to the table, Kuroo in his wake carrying the bread and drinks. 

“Here you are,” Suga says cheerily, setting down a bowl before each of the table members. 

Kuroo follows with the bread and drinks, the hybrid grabbing his and gulping it down without a word of thanks. Suga frowns but his irritation is soothed by the elf’s enthusiastic voice. “Oh wow, loliander berry juice! My favorite!” He turns his shining eyes up to him. “Thank you so much!” 

He really is adorable and Suga just stops himself from ruffling that mop of orange hair. He begins to wonder if there really is a reason to worry. The elf had been giving lip to the wolf as they entered and it sounded as though he were the one directing them to… somewhere. He loathes to admit it, even just to himself, that Kuroo is probably right and it's really stupid to use the serum on them but before he can stop them, they each begin to dig in.

“This is delicious!” the elf says, his cheeks puffed out and pink. 

“I’m glad you like it,” Suga says, keeping his smile bright but his eyes are darting around to each face watching for any sign the serum is taking effect. He didn't consider the possibility it could take a while, especially with the addition of a hearty meal but with them as their only customers, he doesn't think it's too risky to remain and start asking questions. 

The archer hums, a sound that Suga interprets as his approval of the meal while the wolf just ignores everyone in favor of shoveling his food in as fast as possible, probably not tasting any of it. 

The mage is the last to try his food, dipping his bread into the stew and taking a bite. He chews slowly, as though savoring, but then he stops, brow furrowing. He stares into the bowl, pushing the pieces of meat and vegetables around as if looking for something. 

_Shit_ , Suga thinks. He didn’t consider the fact another magic-user would pick up on a foreign addition to the meal. He keeps his smile in place, leaning forward just a little, asking, “Something wrong, sir?” 

The mage sits back, tapping his spoon against the side of the bowl. “Interesting concoction of spices…” His eyes snap to Suga’s face making him flinch. “I'd love to know the recipe.” His voice is calm but there’s an edge present as sharp and dangerous as a pointed dagger.

Slowly, the atmosphere in the room begins to change. It’s subtle, barely perceptible, but Suga can feel it. A glance towards Kuroo shows he's picking up on it as well, the tingling like static electricity building up a charge. Suga unconsciously takes a step back, his fingers twitching, ready to call his wand to him in a second if need be. “Sorry, old family recipe,” he says, forcing out a laugh. “Can’t be giving away our secrets, can we?”

Suga realizes his poor choice of wording when the mage asks, “And yet… you devise to extract ours from us?” He stands, pointing his finger at Suga. “You’re devious, I like that.” His eyes go wide, his teeth gnashing. “Shit! You’re more powerful than me!” 

The wolf springs up looking ready to kill while the elf stands looking confused from the mage to the two witches. Unperturbed, the archer remains seated, smirk firmly in place.

The mage looks at him, pointing towards at Kuroo and Suga. “Don’t just sit there looking handsome, do something, Mattsun!”

Thick eyebrows rise on Mattsun's face, his smirk widening to a smile. “You think I’m handsome, Tooru?”

“Of course! Anyone with eyes would think so!” Tooru snaps. 

“Interesting potion,” Mattsun replies, eyes darting to Suga who has retrieved his wand. Kuroo has his in hand, too, pointing it forward. 

“Oh wah?! What happened? Did the pretty witch give us something?” the elf asks.

“Who’re you callin’ pretty?” Kuroo asks. 

“You’re dashing, _he’s_ pretty!” the elf continues, pointing to Suga. 

Suga’s face flushes as he realizes his mistake. It wasn’t just a generic truth serum but one that causes those who take it to tell their secret praises of the people around them. 

“Stop yapping and start fighting, you can take’em!” the wolf snaps. His eyes go wide, his hand covering his mouth as the elf spins to look at him. 

With surprising quickness the elf rushes to the wolf, ignoring the others. “Ah-ha! I knew you liked some things about me! What else do you like, Kyoutani-san?”

“I like your hair, it’s soft. I want to run my fingers through it. And you smell nice, like the citrus trees in Olender.” He looks like he’s ready to throw up at his own sappy words. “You’re brave and loyal. I wish I could trust as you do. I want to always protect you, keep you safe.”

From behind him, Suga hears the archer roaring with laughter. When he glances back, Tooru looks like he’s barely holding it together, torn between maintaining his angry indignation or giving in to laughter.

Kuroo can’t hold his snorts in, grabbing a spare seat and sitting down. 

“Hinata-kun, that wasn’t very nice,” Tooru admonishes him, “but I approve of you taking advantage. Shows I’ve trained you well.”

“I don’t think that’s something be proud of,” Suga retorts, but he’s smiling, glad the tension from before has dissipated. 

“Kyoutani-san, that’s what you really think?” Hinata asks.

“Of course it is! You think I’d make up that shit just because!” Kyoutani shouts. 

“Sorry, sorry! I just… why are you always so mean to me then?”

“It was easier that way.” 

Hinata frowns, stepping forward. He lays a hand on the hybrid's head, patting then reaching back to scratch his ear. Kyoutani seems to melt, his face relaxing into less of a scowl and more of a resting bitch face that just must be his usual look. “I like Kyoutani-san too, despite you being an ass.”

The potion must have run its course if Hinata was able to insult instead of praise but he's no less truthful, Suga sees. Suga turns to Tooru, bowing. “We deeply apologize for this mishap. We thought, what with your dark and mysterious aura, that perhaps you were kidnapping Hinata-kun.”

“We? _You_ thought that Suga, I didn’t believe it for a second,” Kuroo defends. 

“Regardless, we do apologize. The meal is on the house and we have quarters you can use if you would like to stop for the night as it is late and the roads are dangerous.” 

“Something tells me this lot isn’t worried about danger,” Kuroo mumbles. 

“Much as I would love to stay and give you _your_ just desserts, Suga-chan, we must be on our way,” Tooru says but there’s no heat in his voice. He straightens his perfect shirt and looks up again. “Although, I suppose I should thank you. The evening has been most… _refreshing_.”

He turns to Kyoutani and Hinata. “Come on love birds, let’s go!” 

They protest but fall in line, following the mage out the door. Mattsun lags behind, rising to his feet and stretching his long, lean body. Meeting Suga’s eyes, he gives a roguish grin. “Thanks for the entertainment and finally breaking those two down. The sexual tension was so annoying.” 

Suga nods somewhat dumbly, earning an eye roll from Kuroo as he sets about cleaning up the mess of the table. 

The archer steps closer, taking Suga’s hand in his. He raises it to his lips, pressing a feather-light kiss to the back of it. “Matsukawa Issei, by the way, hopefully, we’ll have more time to get… better acquainted the next time I’m in town.”

He gives a smile at Suga’s stunned silence, nods then takes his leave. Suga is still staring at his retreat when into his line of sight comes a bright blur of orange and arms stronger than they look encircle his waist. “Thank you so much for your help Suga-san! I’ll bring you something back from Hytrantia!”

Then he’s gone, darting after his group. 

A heavy arm around his shoulders snaps Suga back to himself. “Well, at least we weren’t bored,” Kuroo says chuckling. 

His laughter fades away as he moves to the back stockroom. 

Suga is about to retort when the bell above the door goes off again. “Sorry we’re clos— oh! Hi Daichi, Bokuto.” 

The two warriors enter further, hanging up their cloaks and shields. 

Bokuto-san takes in a deep breath through his nose, his stomach rumbling. “What smells so good?” 

A slow smile curls Suga’s lip upward. “Stew, can I interest you two in a bowl?” 

“Sounds great,” Daichi says as Bokuto bounds to the table. 

“Hey Suga, who’s here—wait! Don’t!” Kuroo shouts just as Daichi and Bokuto each take huge bites of their stew. 


End file.
